The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
