Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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