I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
