Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
