mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
