just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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