Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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