Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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