Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
