my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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