so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I am spending my child support on dildos
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
