please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
We smell like vodka and hangover
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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