I heard we made out
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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