Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
this will be a night to untag.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
