proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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