Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
