yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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