He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
