We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You were trust falling into bushes
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
