Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
