I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
