i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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