did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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