I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
