Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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