Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
