this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
