you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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