I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize