i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
