He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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