I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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