I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
