Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
50% drunk capacity currently
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
