Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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