I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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