im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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