marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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