that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
