my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
