God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
