your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
