do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
