I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
