Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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