I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
