spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
