The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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