SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize