God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
