he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
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