I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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