i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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