i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
that's an acceptable place to lick
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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