So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
