I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
