You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
