i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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