remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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