i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
